sayofthelivinganything:

It literally kills me when men think they know women’s fashion better than women

(Source: liamdunbarsss)

48,266 notes

dutchster:

why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

228,932 notes

rayesbrain:

Behold my new life motto

rayesbrain:

Behold my new life motto

41,162 notes

thespiritofyamato:

MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN’T GET ON WONDER WOMEN’S LEVEL 

(Source: clebermsdantas)

371,725 notes

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(Source: soulgems)

458,978 notes

marxvx:

if i as a retail worker have to work with a dozen cameras pointed at me to deter me from stealing $10, cops should have to work with a camera pointed at them to deter them from arbitrarily maiming and killing people

19,638 notes

southpauz:

True story.

When I was in 2nd grade, there was this 5th grade boy (who was also my brother’s best friend) who I had the biggest crush on.

One day when we were at the bus stop, he threw a snowball at me. I wanted to be cute and throw one back at him, but the bus showed up before I could throw it at him.

I made the most genius decision to hide it behind my hands and throw it at him when he walked onto the bus.

I chucked a snowball at him.

Unbeknownst to me, the snowball had an enormous chunk of ice in the middle of it.

He went to the nurse and I went to the Principal’s office for the first time in my life.

I was so pitiful that my Principal let me go without any punishments.

Long story short: I CAN’T FLIRT.

6,106 notes

carypm:

dragqueenmerlin:

Just received my size 50 knitting needles in the mail, and I’m pretty sure these are weapons, not craft making tools

image

The cat’s face

324,449 notes

shriekingpotatos:

I have never understood people who go to a family restaurant and throw a fit when I take them to a table that has a kid anywhere near them.

That happened today when I sat this old couple. I took them to a table and they practically screamed at me that they didn’t want to sit next to “that little…

Basically my entire life. lol

110 notes